I feel so strongly about this that I decided to make it the subject of a talk I gave at the festival of learning held by one of my associate institutions.

I addressed the issue of perceived apathy and passive resignation towards organisational changes by individuals or teams, in organisations where people go through multiple changes over a sustained period of time, and the fact that traditional change management approaches are often felt to be failing. I also focused on how many organisations “go through the motions” when it comes to change management, waiting for the noise to die down, and filling offices with bright and colourful artefacts intended to drive home some key messages linked to the change.

One of the things I advocated was that individual and small group coaching can help build change capability in an organisation, by meeting leadership, project managers, individuals and teams “where they are at” in the stakeholder engagement commitment curve, before, during and after the change journey.

When I first started coaching, I became aware of the power of meeting people “where they are at” during a coaching process or conversations. As powerful as it is, it is also an incredibly difficult thing to do. To just listen and hear, to suspend judgement, to resist the urge to give advice – all these are learned behaviours and take time to develop. In a one on one and in a team context, these behaviours provide the conditions for building trust, so that over time, the coach can begin to challenge coachees more and help them expand their self- discovery and personal growth horizons.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter what the journey is – personal or organisational challenges, growth, change – skilful coaching can support all of these. There is something unique and truly powerful about just being met where you are at – and taking it from there.

By Beatrice Attrill

We offer personalised coaching programmes for individuals and organisations.  For more information or to book a session contact us at info@mypocketcoach.co.za 

It has not been the easiest of times, but South Africans are born and bred with a unique endurance and survival spirit that lies deep at the core of our creative solutions. Change and growth involves actively choosing the action most aligned with the future you desire.

A fresh perspective brings us the opportunity to get involved in creating a life that we love. Change happens right here, right now. It is in each and every moment, good or bad, that we get the chance to change our words, our thoughts, or our actions, towards crafting the future of our dreams.

May this year bring you the mindful moments, and the courage, to make conscious choices towards change. 
 
By Johanica Havenga 

We offer personalised coaching programmes for individuals and organisations.  For more information or to book a session contact us at info@mypocketcoach.co.za 

The covid-19 crisis, and the political, economic, and social disruptions it has caused, is fundamentally changing the way we do and experience life and even how we experience the inconsistencies, inadequacies, and contradictions of multiple disruptions.

What I hear in conversations with leaders and many others is that they’ve lost their ability to dream and feel confident about the future; they’ve lost the essence of feeling meaningful, and they feel that what they do, or would like to do, might not even make a significant impact. The big question on most people’s lips is, “What if we experience yet another massive disruption and everything I stood for, and worked on, becomes meaningless again?”

“I’ve lost the essence of feeling meaningful.”

Our biggest desire is to return to our “normal lives” and the way it used to be – yet that is fundamentally the biggest challenge and the biggest blockage for us to experience the beauty of our “new abnormal” (notice it is not even a “new normal” anymore).

Strange As It May Sound – We Are Given an Opportunity

I believe we all are given a personal and unique window of opportunity to reshape our lives and if we do this, we will discover opportunities that was never available to us before. This in turn will offer insights to help inform future relationships, the direction our lives can take, the priorities we will be passionate about, and the nature of how we perform our daily obligations.

We must take this chance to pause and reframe our thinking. We must take the time to evolve our actions and behaviors, to address crucial areas affecting our health, happiness and reconsider why we need to do what we do.

“We all are given a personal and unique window of opportunity to reshape our lives.”

But First, Let’s Pause

What does it mean to pause? I am of the mindset that if we want to invite something different into our lives, we need to take time to first pause. We all know something about pausing by taking a slow, deep breath, a long bath, a walk in the forest, meditating, or going on retreat. Whatever works for you, it is important to experience a deliberate pause—taking a break to question, to reset, and to reconnect with ourselves. It is about quieting the constant busyness in order to see what newly draws our interest and curiosity and discover a freshness, a newness of vitality, and purpose.

So, You May Ask – How Do I Reset My Life?

Resetting your life is about improving your current situation while also looking at your life and deciding what needs to change – and then making that change happen. It’s about heading in the right direction for the next season of your life, with different priorities.

“It is about quieting the constant busyness in order to see what newly draws our interest and curiosity.”

7 Tips to Reset Your Life

1. Get rid of things, thoughts and relationships that are weighing you down – An accumulation of stuff, mindsets and relationships we don’t really need can hold us back, making us feel sluggish and lethargic. Just as things and people take physical space around you, they take up mental space too; occupying space for things and people that could be of value to your new self.
2. Become more grateful – Practicing gratitude can totally transform your perspective. It can mean you are clearer about what your priorities are and the direction you want to take your new life in. Write down three things that you are thankful for, whether it is big or small, every night before you go to sleep.
3. Create a vision of the life you want – What will the new you look like? Do not be scared of being too detailed or even ambitious. It will evolve as you meditate and work at it but it is great to start with a clear vision to aim for, and adapt it as you go along.
4. Picture the person you desire to be – Chances are that you want to reboot your life because you have grown into a person who you no longer recognize – one with traits or behaviors that you don’t really like. It can be hard to look at yourself in the mirror and accept the brutal truth about the person staring back, but as with all resets, identification of the problem is the first step to overcoming it. Maybe you want to be a kinder, more approachable person who gets along well with others? Maybe you want to be humbler and more willing to ask for help when you need it? Maybe you want to be a more disciplined and hard-working individual who gets things done?
5. Set goals – What do you want to have achieved one month from now, six months from now, a year from now, and even ten years from now? Make sure your goals are measurable, tangible, achievable and realistic so you will know whether or not you have actually achieved them.
6. Build your goals into your daily routine – Big goals are impressive, but if you don’t work toward them a little every day then you will find it hard to reach them. Think about creating a new routine, and how you can make small changes every day/week/month that will add up to a big change over time.
7. Be kind to yourself – Resetting your life is never going to be an easy thing to do. So, when you are going through this process, you need to go easy on yourself – apply patience and kindness. Expect times where you will feel excited about making these changes, and times when you wish you’d never started.

This I can promise you: It will all be worth it in the end.

Lastly, always ask yourself the following questions:

• KEEP DOING – What is it that you have to KEEP doing because it has a positive impact on your life?
• STOP DOING – What is that you have to STOP doing because you’ve done it over and over again, yet it is not helping you?
• START DOING – What must you START doing that you have not done before, yet it will make a difference?

Still not sure how to go about resetting your life? Want someone to guide you through it? Speak to me today so I can walk you through the process. Contact me through info@mypocketcoach.co.za to connect.

By Alistaire Lategan

Get clear on your dreams.
Know them, understand them, believe in them and trust yourself enough to achieve them.

Ask for help when it is needed.
You are on a planet filled with billions of brilliant souls. You are not an island. You do not need to do it all alone.

Take action.
All it takes is the very first step. Take it.
It is never too late; but the time to begin is today.

Johanica Havenga

We offer coaching in areas of Life Skills which will assist in crafting a clear vision of your dreams and set plans in motion. Contact info@mypocketcoach.co.za for more information or bookings.

As restrictions begin to lessen, life slowly returning to a new-normal, it would be wise to reflect on your life.
Where were you at the start of the series of unfortunate events? Where do you find yourself today?
As humans our natural urge was to kick into survival gear, but it has been more than a year and it is time to really reflect and reconnect – with others and with ourselves.
We need to integrate the lessons, the losses, the life altering adjustments. We need to look life square in the eye as resilient beings and take control of that which felt like a moment of chaos.

Write a reflection letter to yourself and your soul – check in with your mind, your physical body and your heart.
Here a short letter to get you started:

Dear (insert your name here)
You are a true inspiration. Thank you for looking after me in moments unknown to mankind. I want to know that you are happy, that you feel healthy and whatever-else might be on your heart.
I want to check in, alter, and adjust where needed and give more attention to areas neglected.
You are a resilient, strong soul and I am proud of what you did, what you do now, and what you accomplished during a rather difficult time.
Rest if you must. Make changes where they are needed. Smile a little more when the sunlight hits your face. Soon we will step out into the streets with more strength than we had before. You’ve got this.
Yours truly, Me

Johanica Havenga

Contact us at info@iegroup.co.za for more details on our personal and professional coaching modalities, as well as customised workshops for teams and organisations.

This year we entered a season of uncertainty, not only as individuals but as a collective. We were not prepared for the “storm” that came, but more than ever our human innate quality of persistence through hope proved that we are indeed resilient. The greatest reflection that I have made is the recognition of life’s groundlessness and how imperative it is that our stability be established from within. In that way it matters not what the external world is bringing to our door, rather that acceptance of the uncertainty of life equips us with a superpower. The superpower of knowing that we are able to bend. To be flexible and to adapt much like a river adapts to its environment. It is of course much easier said than done.

How can we develop this inner stability and power of resilience? A good place to start is by practicing mindfulness. When we are able to recognise that our only true moment is the present we will live from a place of enlightened perspective. In a mindful state we get to choose our focus and science shows that where the attention goes the power flows. Self- awareness is also key to building inner resilience and alerts us to our triggers. Having this knowledge places us in an empowered state. It gives us the tools of foresight to know how to navigate challenges and encourages us towards more positive actions and responses.
Practicing emotional freedom is a technique which enables us to release burdens which can weigh so heavily on our soul. Emotional freedom is the process of actively releasing negative feelings and thoughts that consume too much of the heart space and mind which hinders personal effectiveness. Until we introspect, it is difficult to know what is lodged within. When we are heavy we are rigid. Thus managing the uncertainty of life requires us to be light and fluid.

As the year winds down and we move into another season, find some quiet time and reflect on what this year has highlighted for you whether directly or indirectly. Consider the notion that while plans may not always go according to schedule, and while we may find ourselves in unexpected situations, we have a power within that when accessed proves us impenetrable even in the toughest adversity.
Consider the dual nature of life that even winter has its beauty, have eyes that search for the good even in a trying moment. Practise the strength of surrender and yet never lose your hope.
You are the vessel that carries you through this life. If you do the work to build a strong interior you can walk courageously by understanding your potential and going after your dreams, whilst at the same time being fully equipped to face uncertainty and know the best response.

At My Pocket Coach our goal is to provide you with the necessary tools, skills and knowledge that lead to personal mastery.

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams”

By Chivonne Jones, Life Coach

To book a session with Chivonne contact us at bookings@mypocketcoach.co.za

The challenge with resilience is that, it’s only when faced with adversity that one’s strength of resilience or lack thereof is highlighted. Now, with the current onset of change and uncertainty, it’s important to understand and enhance these skills.

Decades of research has shown us that resilience is a skill that can be taught. There are three psychologists who significantly contributed to the knowledge we have regarding resilience today. Norman Garmezy, was the first to extensively research the subject. Emmy Werner described certain predictors of resilience, most notably, an internal locus of control, which refers to the degree to which people believe they have control over the outcome of events in their lives. Research by psychologist George Bonanno, was particularly interesting as he highlighted the importance of perception in resilience. It was Bonanno who said, “Events are not traumatic, until they are experienced as traumatic.” In other words, it is the way in which we internalise events which determines if we experience it as traumatic or not. Herein lies the potential or learning. According to Bonanno, “positive construal of events can be taught.”

We make ourselves more or less vulnerable by the way in which we think about things. As sophisticated and evolved as the human brain is, our stress-response system is still very much primal. Sometimes our brains let us down by taking a minor thing, blowing it up in our minds, running it through over and over, thinking about all the ‘what-if’ scenarios until we feel like the worst possible outcome is going to happen. This becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. However, the opposite is also true, if we can learn to positively reframe a potentially traumatic event, we feel more capable of handling it, as we feel a sense of empowerment or control. This, in-turn, makes our experience of the event less traumatic. We can then take action to move on, learn from it and grow, making us more confident in our ability to handle the next challenge.

Here are some tips and simple activities to enhance your resilience:

• Practice a growth mind-set

Reflect on a past traumatic event or set -back that you endured.

Reflect on what you were worried about or afraid of at the time.

How did the event actually turn out?

Did anything positive come out of this event?

Write down 3 things you are grateful for today.

• Practice positive-reframing

Identify one or two concerns or worries you have right now. Write them down.

What positive outcomes or opportunities could possibly come from these events? Challenge yourself to write down at least one positive potential outcome for each of the above concerns.

• Acknowledge and let go of negative emotions.

(It’s vitally important that you do not supress negative emotions. Learn to let them come and go, but do not focus on them.)

Write down 3 negative emotions you are feeling right now.

Allow yourself to feel these emotions for 3-5 minutes.

Now using a mindfulness technique, let these emotions go.

by Hayley Kirby

Image from Jordan Cormack on Unsplash